Too little too late

American Idol's latest round of delusional singers took the try-out stage today. To be honest, I'm not shocked that these "nails on chalkboard" singers think they're the next hot ticket to stardom.

Why?

I went to the prom with a guy like this.

I don't know why it's taken me this long to figure it out, but it has. We were watching tonight because, frankly, after a long day in the office I find comfort in watching someone else get verbally beat upon by a pompous ass. I think it was one of the little guys - meaning 'vertically challenged', not young - badly belting out a tune that triggered it.

"You know," I said as I touched Bruce's arm to get his attention, "It's a shame this show wasn't on about 10 years ago."

He turned and looked at me, asking the obvious "Why" with a look not a word.

"Come on. You *know* that B would be camping out over night in New York for the chance to try-out."

Bruce laughed. He nodded. "Oh, yeah."

"If you close your eyes right now, you can even see him standing there on TV belting out his song and hitting on Paula while he did it. You can see him getting all up in the camera afterwards going on and on about Simon wouldn't know talent if beep beep beep."

"He'd sing show tunes," laughed Bruce.

"No, once we were at Six Flags and we recorded Under the Boardwalk in one of those karoke type places. He thought it was the greatest thing ever. I bet he'd sing that," I explained.

This friend of mine landed one of the leads the school play our senior year. The same teen-aged boy that always sat back in the chorus until that year. The same one that mustered up all the bravado he could in his five foot five frame in such a way that those around him had to fight to stifle laughter. He was Julian Marsh in 42nd Street.

And that role, he believed, was to catapult him to stardom. His mother quite literally dreamt of him winning an Oscar. He took that dream to heart. He ran up credit card bills having professional head shots taken. He searched out an agent.

Friends, he wasn't that good.

He *was* good enough for a High School play. Had he had an American Idol platform, however, he'd not be going to Hollywood.

Not that he'd believe you. And so tonight, when I watched these people butcher music, I thought back to my friend. I've not seen him in 4 years. In a way I miss him.