Next time just smack me. . .

Today we have learned an important lesson. Ready? Here goes - I do not have the patience required to make little decorative chocolate lollipops that require a great amount of detail - like tiny little (yes TINY) smiles and and eyes on Bob the Builder and his buds. What the hell was I thinking?! Instead of nicely decorated little lollipops like the box shows, we now have 8 pops that are essentially just masses of solid color in the shape of Bob and a few buds. In my frustration and fear that the blue, yellow and white chocolate blobs were setting I also failed to remember to gently smack (or was it tap - whatever) the tray on the counter to rid my delicately decorated pops of air bubbles. I did this step after I had placed the sticks in and noticed a few bubbles on the "good" side of each pop. So to make up for the sunken dents over each stick I globbed on more chocolate. . .and then decided to just screw evening the stupid things out on the back so now we'll have the most ineptly created Bob the Builder Lollipops ever. At least its just for 5 kidlets (ages 2 - 5) who will only wonder why Bob is showing up at a Thomas the Train birthday party. This is what I get for taking Gram to the craft store and letting her show me stuff on clearance while she says "Oh, this would be neat to try."

On the plus side, my train shaped cake actually does look like a train - God bless shaped pans. Now if only my decorating the cake goes more smoothly than my chocolate adventure. (ok, but really, they expected me to do real tiny detail with a freakin' water color brush. Give me a break!)


Holy Crap!

So I've been walking around in this fog of comfort thinking to myself 'Hey I'm still in the 20-week stretch of this pregnancy (I'm now 28 weeks) and I have a good solid 3 months till this baby could show up.' The it hit me like a ton of bricks last night - Holy Crap! Full-term is 37 weeks. That means that in theory, I am at full-term in just 9 weeks. 9, people! I said 9.

Sure, that's still 2 months, I know there is still time and all that - but really now, I feel suddenly so very much out of control and totally unprepared. My child has no room yet - its still a storage spot for bags and bags of baby stuff as well as Dad's closet and general collection o' junk. I haven't even really started her memory quilt. I haven't moved my oldest to his bed. I haven't done a lot of things...and now I will be full-term in just 9 weeks. NINE!

Of course, when I was induced the last time the boy had absolutely no indication that he had plans of arriving anytime soon. He was born 10 days prior to his due date, but I am CONVINCED that I would have been induced two weeks past due if he had had his own way. So armed with that I also stop to realize that in theory this baby could still have a good 14 weeks left to cook.

None of this is new though, I've said all along that I was pretty much blocking out the entire month of September as a potential birthday for this child. . .I guess it just dawned on me how close September really is!


My overgrown pumpkins and the nifty compost 'house' my brother made. Posted by Hello
My monster cucumbers have grown even more in the last week since this photo was taken.  Posted by Hello
Here's the garden now - not the best photo but an idea Posted by Hello
Here's the garden back in early May. Decent idea of raised beds, but not of my fast growing veggies. Posted by Hello



The stalker children are here to stay. I can not begin to tell you how utterly disappointed I am about that. I forget when it was we found out, but Mom of stalkers poked her head out to say "HI!" as B was again watering his grass seed. (The man is now obsessed with growing grass out front.) So he asks, all innocent like, "How's the house hunt going?" And she says "Oh, we're not moving after all. . ." She then goes into this long diatribe about her divorce and the impossibility of finding the right house for their budget. Again I say, DRAT!

I'm going to run over one of those stalkers one day - not on purpose mind you, but it'll happen. You must all swear now to come to my sentencing and say nice things about me. Yesterday I come home from a quick jaunt to the store and pull into garage noticing that the lot of them are milling around outdoors. I squeeze my growing belly between the car and the side wall, having once again pulled in a bit too far to the left. Grab my purchases and nearly leap out of my skin as I hear "HI!" Mind you the stalker magnet (aka my child) is in the house napping while his Dad watches a ball game on TV. Littlest stalker does not know this. She just assumes that she's going to be able to tackle us as we unload ourselves from our car and glob on to us for a good hour.

"Oh, hi," I say. I try to keep moving, as if she won't notice - not that it matters to her. She's already managed to propel her scooter (on which he rides with no shoes and no helmet, mind you!) practically into my garage.

"I'm going to my friend's birthday party today at the carousel" she says and I think to myself 'Then why aren't you home changing into something actually weather and age appropriate instead of being a pain in my butt?' For the record this weekend has been rainy and cool for June. Its in the 60s and yet stalker kids seem to have an immunity to cold. C is running around in super short shorts and a belly bearing halter top that makes this now 6 year old look like she's a disillusioned 40 year old trying to be 18.

Instead I say "oh, that'll be fun. Have a good time." I move deeper into the garage - my back to her.

"Tomorrow is *my* birthday!" she says.

"Oh, neat," I say. "Happy Birthday!" I am now placing my hand on the door knob that will provide me escape from garage into basement. I check to see that she's not on my heels - yes, stalker child has attempted to enter the house before by following us in. This time though she's realized that her prey (aka the child) is not with me and she turns and starts to push herself back down our driveway.

"Oh!" she yells loud enough that I'm sure she's awoken my child at the other end of the house. "I got a hermit crab for my birthday. I'll come over later with it so L can see it."

I never responded and she never came over.