It seems like ages ago that I became a Mommy-group drop out. Even though I left the group, I've retained contact with a few of its members. Some out of true friendship. Some out of "we'll be seeing each other around so we might as well be nice" needs. And some just because they keep emailing me and I find them amusing.
One of the amusing mom's attends a particular gym-like program with her tot. The girl is near Megan's age and, to date, is an only child.
Logan spent nearly two years in Gymboree programs and I wanted to do the same for Megan. Our problem, however, is finding a class in Meg's age group that coincides with Logan's school schedule. Nothing came close to working until the session that begins later this month. Although we were big fans of both the class and the instructor at Gymboree, I decided to investigate some other programs in town looking for that time fit. Nothing matched up for the Fall session and so we sat out.
During my search I asked Amuse-mom about the program she and Totgirl attended. I got the low down. They, by the way, are in love with the program. From the sounds of it, however, it's not worth the switch from my comfort zone - not to mention that Gymboree's location is 4 minutes from Logan's school vs the 15 (or more with traffic) the other program is when both set of classes runs up to the last minute for us the next few months -- I have roughly 10 minutes tops to get from either class to Logan's classroom for pick-up. This does not stop Amuse-mom from trying to sway me.
However, it's not her loyalty to the other-gym that rankles me today. See, Amuse-mom has this idea that our girls need a playdate. And that's fine. What's not so fine, is that Amuse-mom seems to fear the boy. The "older man" if you will. I'm not sure what exactly my 3.5 year old is going to do to cause her trouble, but apparently it's something.
When she says, "we need to get our girls together," she really does mean "just the girls." It's not 'the girls while the boy tags along.' And this is a problem, because, what, my friends, am I to do with the boy? Where am I to put him? Do I leave him locked in his room for a few hours so we can play without him? Do I ban him to a sitter so Megs can have her own friend alone? Do I leave him in the car while we swing at the park?
At first I thought that perhaps we could use that time while he was at school. Won't work. Our respective toddler-classes get in the way. While she doesn't seem to find it as much an issue, I'm not about to drop Logan off at school at 9. Rush over for a playdate and then leap over to our class at 10:15. Really not worth my effort so she can socialize her child....and frankly, that's all that this is about.
If I suggest something when Logan is around - just the three kids and two moms - she has a reason not to go. If I suggest something when it's a group, well I've not done that in a long time and really, do I bother arranging a playgroup so she can socialize Totgirl?
And so we're left with this weird thing out there. She hints about playdates and I say things like "Well I don't really have time now with just Meg and I. . ." And we both nod and smile.
It's not so very amusing any more. In fact, I'm irritated by it. I feel rather defensive of my boy like her reluctance is a slight against him. I know it's not. The only time she's seen him he was being perfectly adorable. Of course he was. No, seriously, his sister was a few months old. He spent his time standing between the two girls in their respective strollers showing them both the birds and trees in the park.
I don't know what her issue is but I know we're not going to be on any playdates soon.