Sometimes being a mother can feel like you spend a lot of time focused on mundane things. So much time, in fact, that the little things get lost in a cloud of dust you haven't yet had the time to wipe away.
Its easy to go to bed at night and focus on the fact that three-years old means a whole lot of attempts at snatching control and power. I mean, really, I can't have the only three year old that stomps his foot and screeches "I AM NOT A CHILD! I AM A BIG BOY AND I AM IN CHARGE! I GIVE YOU A TIME OUT!"
I also can not be the only mother on the planet with an infant that thinks if her eyes are open, her feet must be moving with mom's help, of course. Walking around lending your 8.5 month old a hand for support can get hard on the back. Of course this means that while you lie in bed at night pondering how a preschooler can present struggles you didn't expect to see until he was 13 - ok, maybe 12 - you do so rubbing your sore lower back wishing the girl would just grow an affinity for the little "learn to walk with me" dumb truck.
Of course, when its not them its other stuff. Its the general bummer that work can be. I mean really, even people that love their jobs would rather be living it up on vacation, right? Its not "this" job, its just any job. I like what I do but do it only because I have to.
Or maybe its the house - something else needs to be fixed or replaced. Maybe its my husband. Or my brother. ..or my extended family. Maybe its the way I weigh more than I wish I did.
And then there's a moment when the husband is away on business and the kids are in bed. I sit at the PC to do some catching up with little things I've let slide. . . and I realize that its all little things. The teenaged attitude onset at 3 is really rather small in the grand scheme of things. What matters is now loving and compassionate the little man is the vast majority of the time.
Walking around hunched over to help the girl isn't quite as painful as it can be made out to be. What's important is that she seems to already live her life with such incredible zeal and passion for discovery. Both of which help her maintain what seems an almost perpetual good mood (notice I said "almost.")
All that other stuff - minute.
Its easy to focus on the negative little things. Some how the mere fact that they aren't tickling your funny bone makes them huge. Its easy to see a small speck of dirt and image it a mud pit. What's not always easy is to see the little good things for the huge celebrations that they are. Or even just the itty bitty silly things that make you smile even if you're not sure it should.
So celebrate and smile I will.
1. Today was a true summer day made to feel all the hotter since just two days ago it was only in the 50s. We had a wonderful day spent mostly outdoors.
2. Knowing the pool at the grandparents was still icky (which is pool-owner speak for "still filled with mud and algae from sitting all winter long) I didn't bother to bring the kids' bathing suits with us today. But I should have. They do have a sprinkler to run through and run through Logan did.
At first he went through with his shorts on but he didn't like the feeling of the wet fabric clinging to his legs. He then set about to remove every stitch of clothing he had on - which wouldn't be have been the end of the world if the sprinkler weren't set up on the front lawn.
Next he went through in just his underwear. Again, not liking the wet undies after a bit. He came over to where Megan sat playing with grass blades and a mountain of toys. She did not like the cold sprinkler water so much, but because we had experimented with it she sat in a Lil' Swimmers diaper. A pink sided, Little Mermaid, lil' Swimmers diaper.
Logan said "Can I take these off" as he tugged his Bob the Builder drawers lower and lower. "Please! Please! Please! I can wear one of Meggie's swimmies! I like Princesses! PLEASE!" So wear the sized Medium (slightly big on Megan, slightly snug on Logan) pink, Little Mermaid swim diaper he did - and he did so proudly. That's my "secure in his manhood" little man.
3. There isn't much better at bolstering your self-esteem than having a round of applause set off by your mere entry to a room. Babies are good for giving us "normal" folk that pleasure. Megan has learned to clap. She uses it to communicate her general pleasure over just about anything. Food she likes? She claps. Pleased with herself for getting a block in the right opening of the bucket? She claps. Got her shoe off on her own? She claps for herself proudly. Mommy walks into a room? Her face lights up with a giant ear to ear smile and she claps as she sighs deeply.
Yah, that feels good.
4. As we got ready for bed tonight, Logan flopped himself back on his bed. "I'm sick" he said.
"You are? What's wrong honey? Where don't you feel good?" I was a bit thrown because he didn't act as if he didn't feel well.
"It starts at my butt and goes all the way up here and into my head then it comes out my ears." He said. Then he smiled and said sweetly, "I just foolin' you."
5. As I sat on the floor playing with both kids today Logan barreled into me - leaping as he did so and throwing his arms around my neck so that he hung suspended at my back. "Awww, Mom. I love you. We're bestest friends, right?"
Ok, so I'm sure when he really is 13 he'll have a different mindset on this one, but for now I'm taking it for all its worth and then some. And I'm blogging it so when he's 13 someone out there can remind me that once upon a time he said "I love you" not "I hate you! You're ruining my life!"