1.02.2005

Rant because I can. . .

Its not worth picking a fight over, so I won't. No, instead I'll just spew my assorted irritations here.

1. There's this mom in my local mom's group that likes to complain about people by using broad generalizations and heaping doses of assumptions. Its not often she pipes in on subjects that set her in this direction but when she does I want to strangle her. Her latest invovles people who place those magnetic yellow ribbons on their car bumpers. Her theory is that those that do so spend their $1.50 on a ribbon but don't go the next step to actually do for the soliders they symbolically support. Well, no I don't have a ribbon on my car. I don't have anything on my car other than the stuff the DMV requires. However, I don't see how she possibily knows what the hundreds of folks she sees every day with said ribbons have or have not done beyond plopping such a magnet on their cars' collective rear-ends. She does this with mostly everything - if you're not A then you must automatically be B. Oh please, move off the soapbox already and get to know people before you start spewing forth crap.

2. Quite honestly, I don't get all worked up when people wrongly label my infant's gender. She's bald. She's small. Its hard to tell if she's not advertising her double X genetic code by wearing lots of pink or flowers. Being referred to as "he" or "cute baby boy" does nothing to impact her three and half month old self-esteem. I merely respond using the proper pronoun "Oh, thanks. She's nearly 4 months." That said let me ask this - Are people freakin' blind or just stupid? Today Megs had on a lavender one piece outfit with pretty little embroidered flowers across the bodice piece and little ribbon detailing around the wrists and ankles. This old lady in church saw Logan go by first then moments later Grandma, Meg and I. She stops us, tickles Megan's lavender-socked feet and said "Oh, how darling! Does he belong with that other cute red-headed boy that just went by?"

3. Must strangers issue unsolicted assine advice? I find when I'm out with just Megan I get oodles of input. Everything from "oh, just wait till she starts to walk!" to "Oh, he'll get you so spoiled. Just wait to have another. It all changes." (Yes, we're back on that he/she thing again.) This merely amused me the first time around the baby-induces-idiots-to-tell-you-how-to-live stage of parenthood. This time around I'm start thinking its worth investing in a great big stick so I can whomp heads. What is fun though, (parents embarking on a similar journey or planning on doing so take note), is to pop their little "aren't I so kind doing my civic duty and all to enlighten the naive" pride balloons. When we were out shopping on Saturday the 'kind' lady at one particular outlet decided to reassure me that it just seems like Megan will go through a new size of clothing every two months but its ok, really, I can relax. She'll slow down you see. Then it'll be just every year or so. I smiled at her sweetly, as I held the 6-9 month sweater my weed-daughter will be wearing sooner rather than later, and said "Oh, yeah, I know. Her big brother has been wearing a 2T for I guess nearly a year. He's just about ready to make the leap into the next size."

The clerk looked slightly flustered and said as she hurried away, "Oh. Ahh, well then you know."

4. Know-it-alls that think I'm just stupid really have got to stop talking to me before I decide to start getting bugged by it. :) Here's the thing, Logan talks a lot. Not just a lot, but very well. He's always been very verbal. His first real word (duck) came at 6 months and things just went from there. When I recount moments of our day here on this blog his conversations aren't embellished; these are the things he says as he says them. There are times when we're out that strangers assume he's older than he is by the way he speaks. We know he talks well for his age. We don't claim to have done anything special to get him to that point - We read a lot. We sing a lot. We talk to him a lot. Lots of parents do. It just is what it is.

What annoys me are those that don't see him and just think I'm exaggerating. It often comes in the form of "just you wait." For example, when recounting a story about Logan pushing back and being, well, being two, a co-worker said to me "Just wait till he's three. Three sucks. At three they can really articulate so they push back a lot more than when they're still getting their words together at 2."

I paused and thought how to respond then said "Oh, hey, I know three will be different. If nothing else maturity brings changes. Physical abilities bring changes. Sure, and he'll be talking even more, but honeslty, he articulates pretty darn well as it is now. I don't think the change will be due to his language skills."

She snorted polietly and said in return "Yeah, well ok. You'll see."

I left it there. I walked away and just left it hanging in her mind that I must be one of "those" Moms that thinks her kid is the reincarnation of Einstein. He's not, certainly. I mean really, if nothing else, there isn't a single gene on other side of our family that would indicate he'd have superior math or science abilities. Ha! No, Logan isn't Einstein. Heck, I'm not even ready to write his ticket to "AP" classes in High School yet. He's so young and there is so much that lies ahead of his development. That said, he is bright. He is sporting some pretty nifty verbal skills. He is a wee little sponge that sucks up everything in his path. AND, he can very well tell me exactly what is going on in that little head of his -- he often does so fully and completely. He is more than capable of using complete, complex sentences. He is very well versed in identifying his emotions and articulating them (for example, "Mommy I mad because I want you to read to me, but Daddy came to my room instead.")

And sometimes this is the problem. Its hard to remember when he's breaking from a tantrum to tell you exactly what his problem is that he is, in fact, only 30 months old. Its hard to remember that even though you just stood there and told him a billion and one times NOT to use your measuring spoons to hoist dog food from the dog's bowl into one of your pans, he is just two. He can stand there and tell you "But I just want to cook special food for Tasha. I make her dinner. See, I just cook." And I can hide my giggle and say "Logan, I've told you, the dog's food is not a toy. No playing with Tasha's food. Put it back now and stop." But he is two and his frontal lobes only do so much. The next time he sees that food and has a measuring spoon in his hand, the food is coming out into a pan. It just is. That's being two. His problem isn't that he can't understand me or he can't tell me what he wants. His problem is he hasn't the attention span or the self-control. That's an age issue - its nothing to do with his speech. Yes, the mere fact that he can so clearly tell me what's happening in his head makes me frustrated when I'm repeating myself. A huge part of me forgets that whole frontal lobe thing. It makes me think - "He's so darn clever and understands everything else I say to him, damn it, why can't he get this?!"

Ahh, but I digress. Its late. Its past my bedtime. Something to ponder for another day. Once again here I go posting with spell checking. SPell check is apparently a wasted feature for me. ;) We shall we ignore it and move on.

3 comments:

Moxie said...

At first I thought you meant that the thing this lady in your playgroup likes to complain about is that other people use broad generalizations. And I was thinking, "Is she in my playgroup and am I that mom?" But then I reread what you meant and got it.

El Chico is also very very verbal, and was so early and with great articulation and diction. It is very hard to remember how old he is sometimes. My babysitter talks about it every week--"Sometimes it's just so hard to remember that he's not even 3 yet!"

So far, closer-to-3 is much worse than closer-to-2. But it's got nothing to do with better verbal skills. I find that the increased verbal skills are sometimes the only consolation. It's absolutely delightful to me that El Chico will be in the middle of a tantrum about not wanting to go to bed and will say, "But I don't want to be in bedrooms and people's houses. I want to be in public places!" It almost makes me not want to slit my throat with the agony of having an almost-3-year old.

But people are bossy. That's my corollary to Rule #1 of Life: People are stupid.

Here's a question: Has Logan ever just skipped a size? El Chico was wearing 2T in the summer, and then when we had to buy warm clothes for the fall he was in 4T. I have *no idea* what happened to 3T. Ooh, I could have completely blown the mind of that salesclerk with my size skipping question.

Sandy said...

Geez, I should have gone back and proofread, huh! That post was so very crappy. eww. :) Well now its partly fixed so that a few puncuation and word changes ought to make it clearer.

Sounds like El Chico and Logan need to play together - or not, perhaps we'd not survive their collective thinking. And on the 3 year old thing, you know I sometimes sit back and I think "Three is going to be rougher from what I'm told." Then I think "Kindergarden is going to make 2 and 3 look like a picnic according to various acedotal evidence." But before that sinks in and I get to scared I start to think about 12 and 13 and 14, etc. I guess children stop being easy once you hit that morning sickness stage of pregnancy. LOL! Ok, I feel another post coming on, perhaps I'll save it for that and leave the comments section a bit less complete in thought.

So far Logan hasn't skipped sizes unless you consider size 24 months different than 2Ts. My real problem is that he's very slender. The men on either side of the gene pool are all slender builds and spent their childhoods looking like little twigs. This means that the vast majority of kid clothes don't fit him well. In order to match up his required length in Old Navy clothes for example, he needs a 3T now. However, the weight range in that size is roughly 3 lbs too big for him. Not an issue in shirts but pants are either too short for him or fall off his hips. He wears a lot of overalls.

Mandy said...

Wow! I don't even know how to respond other than in so many ways I think we all hit this point! Each age has its joys and its difficulties and I think that the verbal ability can only help as they want to be more independent.

That is funny about the mom and the little yellow ribbons. I wish I could have a go at her! LOL

I am making no sense because i am exhausted, but I wanted to respond *something*.