I'm serious about the booze - send something very strong.
Ok, I'm not serious about the booze. I don't drink all that often. Hell, the amount of alcohol I've consumed in the last 8 years I'm sure a freakin' wine cooler would send me into loopyville.
Instead send a giant vat of something fattening. Really. I mean it.
Although I don't really mean it because that'll just make me more bummed out when I weighed in on Saturday at Weight Watchers (btw, I lost 1.6 pounds last week! Yay me! That's 33.6 since giving birth.)
No, send me the Wiggles. That might work. The Wiggles could entertain the 2 year old and then send me Mary Poppins or something to humor the 3 week old. Really. That might do it.
Really, this isn't supposed to be this stressful. I'm sick. They are sick. The two of them took turns crying for TWO AND A HALF FREAKIN' HOURS!!!!!!!!! Although it wouldn't really be fair to say the 2 year old took turns because he pretty much didn't really stop a whole lot during this jag. I mean he would if I managed to get his sister down into say a vibrating bouncey seat with music and lights...but the moment she started her turn on crying and he had to be put down he started his crying again. It was nice to see them collaborate - ha, not.
At the root of our problem is a simple fact of numbers. One Mommy. Two kids. The little one has no issue in sharing the one mommy as long as she's being held or included. As in, its ok with M if I hold both her and L at the same time. Its ok with her if I sit with her and read to him sitting next to me. The big one however is not so ok with sharing Mommy when he's sick. No.
Ok, so maybe skip the Wiggles and skip Mary Poppins - both of those options will just be way to sacchrine after a while and that will piss me off to no end quite frankly. Instead find that guy that cloned Dolly the Sheep and ask him to make another me - one that shows up already 31 years old and lactating.