Hope for an easy transition

We've done a lot of planning the last 7 or so months in terms of preparing the two year old little man for being part of a duo as opposed to the solo act he so loves. We've read "I'm a Big Brother" ad nauseum. We've talked about babies. We played with babies. We've looked at his baby pictures and talked about how much he's grown. He's helped us prepare the baby's room. He selected the color for her room (well I gave him a choice of two shades of lavender and he selected from that.) He helped put her dresser together - sort of, he held the knobs while Papa screwed them on and then he followed behind his grandfather with a toy hammer banging the backing in place. He's even picked out presents to give her when she arrives home (That would be a green soft bear and cloth teething book he wants to read to her. We've read it through a few times and he's got the basic "story" memorized when he sees the pictures on each page.) He's been working on learning songs to sing to her. He's got plans on how he's going to help take care of her. He's picked out an outfit for her which he conned his grandmother into buying, or as she puts it: she either paid for the "purple clowinsh outfit" or he was arrested for shoplifting.

He knows the baby is now in my belly and that we'll go to the hosptial sometime soon to get her. Of course he also thinks the really neat construction trucks working on the hosptial's new wing are there to 'build Megan.' Go figure. He knows from the babies we see that they cry. He knows they don't do much when they're real "teeny tiny." He gets the basic concepts but we still have no idea how he's going to handle the real thing. There is no way to know until its here. This child has been the center of the universe for so many folks that its sort of scary to think about how he's going to handle a split in attention. We've got our plans, of course, to still build in "solo" time for him. He and I will go to Gymboree at least once a week - just us. He'll get time alone with Dad. He'll get time alone with his grandparents. But its still going to be so very different. At times I worry about this more than I should. I know that as time passes he won't recall what it was like to be an only. I know that he'll forget life without his sister around. Its just getting him and us to that point that is starting to feel a bit itimidating.

There is some hope though. As I just posted in Logan's blog, we recently told him that when we're in the car with the baby, he can help entertain her since he'll be the big kid in the back seat with her. He thought this over a bit but didn't respond. You can sing to her, we told him, knowing how much he likes to sing everything and anything. He's got big plans of the songs he's going to perform for his kid sister already. He thought this one over a bit too.

"I sing ABC song to Megan because she need to learn it," he said finally.

1 comment:

Moxie said...

My mom told me that the guilt starts as soon as you get pregnant with the second one, but you just have to push through. It sounds like you've done as much as you can. I wish you good luck with the transition from 3 to 4.