So that little big thing

Anyone that knows me well, knows that I don't typically care much what another person does or doesn't do as long as it causes no harm to me or others. To each his/her own. This particularly extends to relationships. Frankly, as long as I'm not the one dating/marrying a person, I don't have to like him/her. If you do, great, I hope you're both happy for a long time.

Unless, of course, things don't appear to be very healthy - and by healthy I mean detrimental to either or both parties. This, is why I was fretting weeks ago about that little big thing. I was worried. Yet I had to keep quiet. It wasn't a time or place for me to speak up. It wasn't up to me to make this call. I had to just watch from a distance and be ready to catch if someone should fall.

And someone did trip just prior to Christmas. So I caught. And then I talked. I shared what was in my heart. He listened. He mulled...and he's still marching on ahead. But at least he now marches with caution. And at least I know I was honest and I know whatever he elects to do, he does so informed. I can not ask for anything more.

For the record, maybe it's just me, but if you love someone, you love them completely. You don't seek to change them into something better. If you love them you don't tear them apart behind their back to anyone in your email address book. If you love them you don't place the blame for anything and everything squarely at their feet. If you're honest with yourself and your mate you take responsbility when you screw up. If you're honest you recognize the person you're with needs to be the one that wants change - and you support not shove them in their effort. If your honest you recognize your issues are best worked out between you, not between you and any sympathetic (or not) ear you come in contact with.

I'm sad but I'll be supportive. He's made the choice despite knowing what he knows. I'll just grin and make nice again. I'll be here to catch if he should falter again. It's back to our status quo - but at least I'm back here without the heavy weight on my shoulders. I said my peace. It's all I can do.


kontan said...

Like you said, that's all you can do and hope for the best.

Happy new year to you.

Paige said...

When we love some one it is as they are. To change them is to change the love you had into something else.

Love is unchanging.

Nicole said...

I'm glad you waited for the opportunity and said your peace. Now, que sera, sera...

Cath said...

Well youv'e said what you think, you can't do much else but be there right?