Drama Queen

So, I can't seem to get through a pregnancy or at least through a visit with Dr. Panicky without drama. Nope, impossible. Today I go in and my little protein test seems to be ok. There's no worrisome elevation in my blood pressure (I was 128/80). But there's a 5 pound gain in my weight over the last 3 weeks. Ok, says the doctor and looks at the charts - well you're only up 16 pounds total over the pregnancy. That's fine, but oh, wait, what's this? Hmmm, 11 of that over the last two visits? Hmmm....how's everything going...wait, do you normally wear rings?

Me - Ummm, yeah well I haven't in the last month because they're tight. My fingers are a wee bit puffed.

Dr. P - Hmmm, let me see.

And he pokes at my fingers. Then he pokes at my ankles - which are not puffed really but are enough to have the little marks from the elastic around my sock at the top.

Dr. P says - Well there's some water retention but no major edema. You passed your 1 hr glucose test? (and he moves to my chart.) Hmmm. Ok, look, normally no worries with the weight because overall you're right on target. (some blah blah stuff about the body and normal gains, etc...) The only thing is your history with the pre-eclampsyia and one early sign is rapid weight gain with water retention. Have you changed eating habits?

Me - not really. I mean yeah from early on in the pregnancy to now there's a difference in that I don't throw up a few times a day but from say May till now, no.

He looks at my chart and sees the no weight gain at all in May. . . so I add that I had stopped my walking in the heat and per Dr. L's input.

Dr. P says - Ok. Well I'm not going to put you through a 24-hour urnine test for protein yet but because of your history the weight gain is something we really want to be very watchful of. I want to do the 2-hour glucose test too just to rule out late apperance of any tolerance issues. And then instead of 2 weeks between visits I want you to come back in next week to make sure everything is still ok with the blood pressure and the protein.

So he then decides to listen to the heartbeat - says baby is sounding perfect. He measures the fundus and frowns a bit. "Hmmm," he says. "When was your last ultrasound?"

Me - Oh, geez, maybe 10-12 weeks ago.

Dr. P says - Ok, I want to have you in for a new ultrasound too - that coupled with the 2-hour will help us rule in or our GD.

So anyway, that's the summary of my visit. . . basically there is a reason I call him Dr. Panic - BUT - with the P/E last time he's got me all sorts of depressed now. I mean damn. My weight gain with L was much more signifcant. Heck I think I was well over 35lbs up by this point last time. That said, my "nearing the finish line appts" all had normal to low-end of normal blood pressure with no signs of protein BUT large jumps in weight gain up until that 37 weeks appt when I had a 5 lb gain in a week PLUS the elevated BP and still a clear urine test. The 24-hour test I took that week showed elevated levels of protein which indicated I was in the early stages of pre-eclampsyia. All that weighs in on my mind as I sit and process today's appt.

I go back to the office Saturday am to see the ultrasound tech who apparently puts in weekend hours unlike the old one. On Thursday am it looks like I'll do the freakin' 2 hour test because its the earliest I'm not at work, I have someone that can watch L and the tech is in. AND, Thursday afternoon I have an appointment with the more relaxed easy-going Dr. L. We'll see what he has to say next visit.

The thing is - early delivery does not worry me. I know they won't induce until 38 weeks and that's exactly the point L was born. I know she'll be fine then and frankly, the 2 weeks between then and my due date seem like an eternity as it is right now. Somehow August 31st/Sept 1st seems a whole lot more managable to my achy back than Sept 15th or beyond. . . What plays on my mind is the between then and now type thing if they should decide there's reason to be seriously concerned. I know there's medication they can give me to help manage my blood pressure should I need it and I know they're ready to say the big 'b' word - Bed Rest. THAT is what scares me. Bed rest. Bed rest with a 2 year old around. Yeah, I have help. Yeah, mom will be here endlessly during the times Bruce is not. That's all fine...but I also know that I have a two year old that, while not quite the clingster he used to be, is still a mama's boy. I know there will be times during bed rest, should it come to that, when he stands next to the bed crying and begging me to come to the porch, come to his room, come to play, come outside. And I know that to me, there's nothing wrong with sitting with my feet up on the floor in the living room pushing trains around a circle...but those that will be helping me will be looking for the soft restraints should I suggest such a thing.

Of course all I really want to do right now is sit and process this appointment. I want to figure out if its a real issue or if its just dr. p living up to his nickname. I want to cry a little because I'm kinda bummed that I seem to avoid drama within pregnancy...and I can't...no, because today, Mr. aforementioned 2-year-old has decided that he need not nap. We've tried everything. He actually did fall asleep when I ran out to get gas in the van about two hours ago. He slept for 10 minutes...until I placed him in his bed. Now this isn't normally an issue because normally he'll stay out about another 1.5 to 2 hours from there. But not today. No, today he sat himself up as I left the room and asked me to sit with him some. So I did. Then he knocked on my forehead and told me to wake up we weren't sleeping as I laid there with my eyes closed hoping he'd get the hint. He's in VERY good spirits. He's also very much full of energy and he's most content to amuse himself for a bit anyway...but its still not the "just time to me" time I needed/wanted.

ack and ugh.

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