12.31.2003

Resolve to be unresolved

I do not make New Year's resolutions, or at least I haven't in many, many years. Not that I am diametrically opposed to them. I just find them unrealistic. There are two flavors of resolution as I see it:

1 - Something so incredibly vague that its nearly impossible to actually achieve anything meaningful. For example - I resolve to loose weight in 2004. Ok, but if I manage to shed just a single pound I've achieved my goal and yet, was it really what I had in mind? Was it truly a worthy success story? Another example? I resolve to be a better person. Sounds saintly, sure, but if you give up cursing at every driver who passes you and settle merely for silently cursing them to a life full of plagues - did that make you better? In a way, perhaps. How do you measure that resolution?

2. Something detailed and important that weighs on your mind and begins to feel so utterly huge and unattainable. "I resolve to loose 40 pounds" weighs (no pun intended) fairly heavy (again, no pun intended) on your mind. You get out January missing just 4 of those unwanted pounds and you suddenly feel as if you're not made enough progress, as if you've been defeated because you even really began.

And so, I choose not to make one.

Instead I choose to view every day as a new beginning and as such, every day worthy of a resolution. These daily plans can be realistic. Not I resolve to loose weight or to loose 40 pounds. Today I resolve to not polish off a single thing in the vending machine at the office. Today I resolve to get my jiggly butt to the gym. Today I resolve to not refer to one person (boss included) by any word I wouldn't want my son to learn.

I, average, ordinary woman, standing at the cusp of a new year, resolve to have 365 resolutions made at the start of each of 365 days (oh drat, its leap year! Make that 366.) Oh, crud, so here's a quandary. Does this count as a New Year's Resolution? Does that mean, by the vary nature of New Year's resolutions that I get 15 days of honest to goodness effort on this project and then I get to abandon it for one good long burst of obscenities that would make George Carlin blush and giant hot fudge sundae to top it off?

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