What you'd hear if you were here

Over heard in my house today:
L (my brand new Kindergartener fresh off orientation): I want to do my homework.

Me: You can do your calender page. Remember, it's not due until the actual first day of school next week.

L: I know, I want to do it now.

He works diligently on printing his name in upper and lower case letters then works with utter fixated concentration - coloring in the boxes for Sept 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 with a yellow crayon just like the paper says to do.

L: I'm done. I want to do my other homework.

Me: Honey, you've got to go with Grandma and I have to get to work. You just have to draw a picture of yourself and your favorite stuffed animal. That paper isn't due until next Friday! You have time, we can do it tomorrow when we don't have to rush.

L: But I want to do it now! I want to do homework!

Me: Logan, I want you to remember this conversation when you're 15.

L: Why? (pause) Ok, can you assign me other homework to do at Grandma's today?
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Also overheard at my house:

Me: So, Meg, are you excited about starting preschool next week? Are you going to make new friends?

M: Yes, with the girls.

Me: Just the girls? What about the boys?

M: The boys can make their own friends.

(Daddy is so relieved and hopes she holds tight to this philosophy until she's 30 or something like that.)
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Overheard later at my house as Miss Meg is in the bathtub

M: Mommy, come here, I want to squirt you with this water bottle.

Me: No, honey, I don't want to be squirted with your water bottle.

M: But you have to. I will get your foot wet.

Me: I don't want to get wet.

M: Yes, just a quick squirt.

Me: Megan Rose, I do not want to get wet.

M: Mommy, I love you and we are still friends, but you are REALLY starting to fuss-trate me!