Damn them and their coupons

So I'm so very much NOT a Black Friday shopper. In fact, in my former life as a non-crazed, stress-laden, childless gal, I used to pride myself on the fact that the 98% of my holiday shopping was completed PRIOR to Thanksgiving leaving me plenty of time to enjoy the pending yuletide cheer without the panic of finding the right gift at the right price.

But folks, they have coupons. Damn them. Damn them all and their fancy sales.

Wednesday night when my head hit my pillow I was laughing softly to myself at the thought of all those fools who would set their alarms early and rub sleep from their eyes just to make it to a store before the sun rose while the sales were at their hottest on Friday. And then Thursday Mom lowered the axe on my smug neck. . . she had the newspaper and in it *they* had 60% off coupons. SIXTY people! Sixty percent off! Of courre in order to get this deal I had to shop between 6-8am.

*They*, by the way, would be Michaels and that means that I could have myself a Thomas and Friends item under my Christmas tree for 60% less than it retails for. That is unheard of. That is something you don't mess with no matter how smug you were the day prior, nor no matter how long your non-Black Friday streak had been. That is so haul-yer-butt-out-of-bed-and-go-shopping. And so I did. Yes.

I hang my head in shame. I was one of those insane Mothers throwing on jeans and praying the sweatshirt she dug out of the closet had no spit up stains on it. I was one of those fools driving my minivan to the store just after 7am (See, I'm not be there when they unlock the door insane.)

But I got my bargain. Granted it wasn't *THE* item I had hoped for. Santa is bringing the Roundhouse - $80 of train housing fun for a 2 year old. Nope. Craft stores aren't stocking that one, at least not the ones around here. That will come from the sleazy train shop near the office that will give me 20% off because it cost so damn much. I did, however, get an expansion kit so that when boy has his giant Roundhouse he can actually connect his existing track to it without leaving a loop out of wack. All this track-building joy 60% less than the $40 it normally would have cost.

And then I got just a wee bit wackier. Its addictive, friends. These bargains will make you do things you swore you never would. See not only did they offer up this 60% gem, they also had a 50% coupon hanging out there for the gluttons amongst us. This one needed to be used between 8 and 10am. I plopped my worn out self back in my van and zipped across the street to Target -- the sales there so not deserving the overflowing carts stuffing each aisle. That, however, did not stop me from picking up a few things, but hey, as long as I was there why not.

I checked out and climbed back into the pilot's seat at 8:05 exactly. Back across the street to Michaels and up the aisle to the half-empty shelves of Thomas stuff. I pondered. I shared notes and tips with a father clutching an engine in one hand and his third coupon in the other. I debated myself some more. Then I selected my prize -Gordon, the fastest engine on the Island of Sodor for 50% less than I'd find him anywhere else.

My day was complete, but alas, should the craving strike me again they have yet another 50% off coupon for tomorrow. God save me.